Chapter 3You Can't Have It Both Ways

Julian didn't catch the latter part of my sentence because his special ringtone went off, the one reserved for exactly one contact.

Laura.

Julian picked up, said a few words, grabbed his coat, and headed for the door.

He paused halfway there, as if he'd just remembered I existed, and glanced back.

"What were you saying, honey? It's nothing important, I'm sure. Go to sleep; we'll talk when I'm back."

The door slammed shut, and the room fell silent again. I bit down on my lip, but I couldn't stop the sound that finally broke loose.

I didn't sleep at all that night.

The next morning, I'd just gotten to the hospital when a nurse came rushing over.

"Dr. Milton! We've got a car accident victim coming into the ER, hurry!"

From a distance, I saw Laura lying on a stretcher, covered in blood. Charles stood beside her, choking back tears. "Laura, you have to be okay, please wake up..."

Julian gripped her hand, his face twisted with an anguish he wasn't even trying to hide. A pair of nurses whispered nearby. "That man's hurt too, but he won't say a word; he's just gritting through it so his wife doesn't worry."

"Aw, what a devoted husband. I told him to get treated first, but he refused to budge from her side."

My fingers curled slightly. My mind drifted back to a few days earlier.

I'd been curled up in bed on my period, sweating through the pain, and I'd called out for Charles through gritted teeth. He'd come to the door, taken one look at me, and rolled his eyes.

"Stop faking it, Mom. Get up and make dinner. Laura says you only pretend to be sick when you don't feel like taking care of me and Dad."

I'd watched him shut the door again and could only tell myself he was still little, that he didn't know any better.

By the time Julian got home that evening, the pain had gotten so bad I couldn't even speak. He dug through the cabinets for a while before giving up.

"We're out of painkillers, honey. Just order yourself a box."

He handed me a glass of warm water, then scooped up Charles and headed straight back out.

"We're heading out first, honey. Take care of yourself. It's Laura's birthday today, and you know how she gets. If I'm late, she'll have my head."

The memory cut off there.

I laughed at myself. So this was how obvious the difference was between loving someone and not. I'd bet everything on this relationship, and I'd lost, completely and without a doubt. Whatever hope I'd had left died out quietly, without a sound.

I turned and walked into the operating room.

When I came back out, Julian was leaning against the wall. The second he saw me, he rushed over.

"How is she, Doctor? Is she going to be okay?"

I kept my voice even. "The patient's stable. There were deep lacerations on her face that needed stitches. There may be scarring."

Julian blinked, as if he was only just now registering that it was me standing in front of him.

Before he could say another word, Jennifer and Bobby came running up from down the hall, already shouting accusations.

"What do you mean, scarring? Laura's an influencer; do you have any idea how much her face is worth to her?"

"Betty, I am so disappointed in you. Using your position as a doctor to settle a personal grudge, seriously?"

The accusation hit so much harder than it should have. I shook my head without thinking. "I didn't do anything of that sort!"

They weren't listening. Jennifer jabbed a finger at me.

"I know exactly how good you are. You're supposed to be a surgical miracle worker. If you'd actually wanted to, there's no way Laura would end up with a single scar!"

Bobby stepped up too, practically vibrating with righteous anger.

"Haven't we put up with enough of your moods at home? Why do you have it out for Laura specifically? She's generous, straightforward, and never once makes things difficult for any of us. She's worth a hundred of you."

He spat the words out like he'd been holding them in for a while, then dragged Jennifer away without looking back.

I stood frozen, pinned in place by what they'd just said. Julian looked at me, something complicated in his expression, his lips parting like he wanted to say something. In the end, he said nothing at all.

The moment they turned away, the composure I'd been holding onto by sheer force collapsed all at once.

My legs went weak, and I caught myself against the back of a chair. My chest burned like someone had pressed a hot iron straight into it, and my whole body shook with the pain.

It felt like something inside me had been pulled out, torn apart, crushed into pieces that could never be put back the way they were.

I leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath, when a nurse came running up.

"Dr. Milton, it's bad. You need to check your phone right now!"