Chapter 2You Can't Have It Both Ways

By the time I got home, it was already ten at night.

I'd barely changed and climbed into bed when my phone lit up with a notification.

Laura had posted a new video, a challenge she'd apparently just filmed that same night. The comments were already buzzing.

"I hereby declare Julian is the hottest of all the guys!"

"Seconded! Let's get Julian promoted to Laura's husband, lol!"

"Same! I'm booking a seat at the head table when they get married!"

I scrolled through them one by one, almost punishing myself with it. The husband I'd spent seven years with was "Laura's best future husband" in her videos. And everyone around us had quietly agreed to keep it from me, to let me play the fool who actually believed in "just friends."

A new comment from Julian popped up.

Julian: [Out of all the guys, have you filmed with anyone else?]

Laura: [Relax, relax. The fans all say you're the hottest one. Why else would they be voting you in as my future husband?]

My chest tightened. I forced myself to keep watching them flirt right out in the open, blinking hard to hold back the sting in my throat.

I clicked over to Laura's profile. It was almost entirely challenge videos, and every single one starred Julian.

I kept scrolling and found the one from my own birthday, the night I'd waited at the restaurant until midnight only to get a single text from him: [Sorry, working late.]

That same night, Laura had posted a video captioned [Challenge: tell your best buddy I love you without getting caught.]

Another one was from Charles's parent-child day at school, the day I'd specifically taken off work, only for Jennifer to ask me last-minute to cover her shift instead. That day, Laura had posted [Challenge: pretend to be the brat's mom without getting caught.]

In the video, Charles beamed and called her Mom over and over. Jennifer had even commented underneath: [Such a happy little family of three.]

A wave of absurdity crashed over me, so sudden I doubled over and dry-heaved into my hand. It was the middle of summer, but I felt cold to the bone.

I thought back to the last time Julian and I had a cold war over Laura, and how Jennifer had held me and said, "Laura's just loyal and kind-hearted. She likes to joke around, that's all. Don't take it to heart."

I hadn't realized it then, but I was already the last piece to fall for that lie. Every betrayal, it turned out, had left its tracks all along.

I finally drifted off sometime after midnight.

The mattress dipped behind me, and a second later, a warm hand settled around my waist. Julian pressed close against my neck, his breath washing over my ear.

"Sorry, honey. You're not still mad, are you?"

His voice was lazy, carrying the easy certainty of a man who already knew the answer.

I lowered my eyes, my smile turning bitter.

Here we go again.

Every single time, Julian only ever showed up to smooth things over after I'd already choked down the worst of it on my own.

And yet he used to be so different. Back when we first started dating, he'd said he couldn't bear the thought of me falling asleep upset. So for years, whenever we fought, he was always the first to cave and apologize.

Not until Laura got back from living abroad, and told him a woman shouldn't be spoiled or she'd only get more high-maintenance, that he needed to let me stew for a few days first.

Julian had listened. And sure enough, a few days later, I couldn't take it anymore and went to him first to make peace.

I hadn't even noticed how, little by little, Laura's shadow had crept into every corner of our relationship.

His hand reached for me again, and I shifted away from it.

Julian sighed, sounding put out. "Who was it that used to beg to fall asleep in her husband's arms every night, hm?"

He pulled me back into his chest by force, and the familiar scent of cedar wrapped around me. But underneath it, I caught something else: a trace of gardenia, the perfume that belonged to Laura.

My tears soaked into the pillow. I finally spoke, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Julian, let's get a divorce."