Chapter 3The Heart He Gave Me

I came to the Shangri-La again.

Champagne rose arches, a long red carpet.

Every detail, the curve of the petals, the folds of the ribbons, was exactly the same as when Ryan and I hunched over the blueprints, deliberating repeatedly.

In my past life, I never set foot here again, afraid of touching old wounds.

But now, this "graveyard" filled with my pain was witnessing their happiness.

I walked in among the guests and saw many familiar faces.

Ryan's relatives and friends, former colleagues, even...

His parents.

The two elders were dressed in brand-new formal wear, surrounded by old friends, their faces beaming with irrepressible joy.

Looking at them, I could actually smile.

Though the smile was probably uglier than crying.

In my past life, after Ryan gave me his heart, his mother held my hand, crying until she was weak:

"Jane, Ryan is gone, you are our own daughter now. His last wish was for you to live well, we... we will take care of you for him."

I took those words as truth, and as a debt.

When they were sick and hospitalized, I was the one keeping vigil, signing papers, running errands.

Fixing pipes, changing bulbs, organizing clothes with the changing seasons, it was all me.

Holiday gifts were never missed, weekend visits were unbreakable.

When his father had heart surgery, I signed the risk notification.

When his mother had trouble walking, I paid for a caregiver and went over every week to manage things personally.

Until they passed away one after the other, I handled their funerals with dignity as a "daughter."

I boiled my guilt toward Ryan into decades of companionship.

I thought it was repayment, a memorial.

But now, I heard his mother praising to relatives:

"Lily, that child, is truly flawless. She's taken good care of Ryan all these years and is so thoughtful towards us old folks."

"We've waited so many years, finally they're settling down."

His father nodded, his tone gratified:

"Yes, it's thanks to her that Ryan could move on. We've looked forward to this day for too long."

So, during those years when I cared for them as a "widow" until their ends,

They already knew their son was in another city, living as husband and wife with another woman.

My heartfelt devotion, in their eyes, was probably just a foolish dullard moving herself.

A sharp sourness rushed up my nose.

I lowered my head, warm drops hitting the carpet by my feet, spreading into dark spots.

At this moment, a distant aunt lowered her voice, probing tentatively:

"Speaking of which... how is Ryan's ex... that Jane girl doing?"

The lively chatter instantly quieted.

The smile on his mother's face faded, corners of her mouth pulling quickly:

"Oh, why mention irrelevant people and things on such a great day. It's all in the past, look forward."

Irrelevant people.

Yesterday she sent me a message advising me to look forward, today I became "irrelevant."

The wedding was about to start, guests taking their seats.

I stood at the very back of the crowd, looking at this scene that was identical to my dream.

The music I picked, the flowers I chose, every step of the process I designed.

On stage, Ryan stood in a crisp tuxedo, his posture still upright.

Since being reborn, this was the first time I looked at him closely.

Still the young appearance in my memory, vivid, real.

That familiar pain in my chest rose again, dense and stubborn.

After all, what lay between us wasn't just these few days of rebirth, but the forty years I endured alone.

The Wedding March played solemnly, Lily in a white gown walking slowly towards Ryan.

Watching this, the answer that had forced me to pursue this seemed... unimportant.

He was unimportant too.

Lily's smile was happy and certain as she stopped in front of him.

The officiant began to ask:

"Ryan Sterling, do you take Lily Hayes to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?"

All eyes were focused on him.

I turned my gaze away, no longer looking at the perfect picture that had nothing to do with me, preparing to leave.

I had seen what I needed to see, felt the pain I needed to feel. It ends here.

However, just as I turned around and took the first step.

On stage, Ryan's voice came through clearly:

"I do not."

I whipped my head back.

Lily's face was deathly pale, but he didn't care.

I heard him roaring at Lily:

"In this life, I only love Jane Miller! Don't think about stopping me from finding her!"

With that, he pushed the frozen bride aside, and amidst the shocked gazes of the entire venue, jumped off the stage and rushed towards the exit, disregarding everything.

Right into my line of sight.