Chapter 2The Heart He Gave Me

Before I knew it, I was on a plane to that coastal town.

After forty years of suffering in my past life, I needed an answer.

Upon arrival, I used the information I found to locate a cafe owned by one of Lily's friends.

Hearing that I was an old acquaintance of Lily's, her friend warmly invited me to sit.

Without me asking, she proactively started talking about how Ryan and Lily met.

"Ryan and Lily were college alumni! She was two years below him. They met at orientation and have been in touch ever since."

"It wasn't until last year that they made it official. Because Lily loves the ocean, Ryan immediately bought a sea-view house here, saying he wanted to grow old with her here."

"Who knew that right after moving, Lily would get pregnant. Ryan was overjoyed, saying this was true stability, and he had to give Lily and the child a proper status immediately."

Only then did I learn that they had known each other for so long.

That they had long agreed to retire here.

That Lily was already pregnant.

The friend was still talking about the details of Ryan and Lily's romance.

My thoughts drifted back to my previous life.

Actually, Ryan and I had a child too.

But because of my heart condition, the doctors didn't recommend keeping it.

That day, he was silent for a long time, then hugged me and said,

"Then we won't have it. I only want you to be safe."

I was truly moved and guilty.

Guilty enough to think about risking my life to have the baby.

But later, I overheard a phone call between him and his mother.

"Yes, I did tamper with things, but so what? She's pregnant now. I just need to coax her, and she'll be too soft-hearted to abort it! What's wrong with me wanting a child..."

In that moment, the world went silent.

I only heard my own heart beating heavily.

The tender husband before me twisted into a stranger I didn't recognize at all.

I smashed everything within reach and screamed at him hysterically.

I called him selfish, a liar, said he didn't care if I lived or died, treating me as a breeding tool.

After his initial panic, his face showed the anger of being exposed, and he blurted out:

"You short-lived invalid, if you can't even have kids, why did I marry you?"

All anger froze in that instant.

I looked at him as if looking at a monster.

Then a violent cramp seized my lower abdomen, and warm liquid gushed out without warning, staining my dress and the messy floor beneath my feet.

The child couldn't be saved.

In the hospital room, his parents came too.

In front of his parents, he knelt on the floor, slapping himself over and over.

He cried saying he was possessed, that he wanted a child of our own too much, that he lost his head in fear of losing me.

He said he was wrong, truly knew he was wrong, begged for my forgiveness, said he would never dare again, as long as I was okay.

Ryan hit himself hard; his cheeks quickly swelled.

His parents stood by, wanting to stop him but daring not to, only persuading him with red eyes while looking at me cautiously, afraid of agitating me further.

I kept my eyes closed, unwilling to watch that absurd and disgusting scene.

My body hurt, my heart numb with cold.

But the human heart is just that pathetic.

Knowing it might be poison coated in sugar, having just experienced heart-wrenching betrayal and harm,

Seeing him kneeling there, face swollen, snot and tears flowing, listening to those pleas...

Pathetic emotions began to stir again.

After all, a man wanting a child with the one he loves... doesn't seem... wrong?

In such a moment, I actually found an excuse for him.

I softened and forgave him.

After that, he indeed never mentioned children again, treating me with increasing caution and meticulous care.

I once thought that was guilt, repentance.

Now sitting in this coffee-scented shop, listening to his lover's friend say cheerfully, "Lily is pregnant."

I finally, sluggishly connected everything.

He didn't give up on the idea of having children.

He found a healthier vessel to nurture his complete, perfect family.

"Are you... here to find them?"

The friend finally stopped her narration, looking at my overly silent and pale face with curiosity.

I opened my mouth, the salty bitterness of the sea breeze seemingly stuck in my throat.

Find them?

In what capacity would I find them?

Before I could fabricate a suitable reason, the friend had already self-righteously provided the answer:

"I know, you're here for their wedding tomorrow night at the Shangri-La, right? A joyous occasion, perfect to join in the fun!"

The Shangri-La.

It was also the wedding venue Ryan and I had chosen together.