Chapter 4Let Go of Bygone Days, Awaken to Love’s Fading

We never did eat that cold meal.

Jack’s phone rang. He answered, his voice instinctively softening. “Chloe? What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t hear what she said, but his brow furrowed. “Don’t worry. I’m on my way.”

He hung up and looked at me, a flicker of guilt in his eyes. “Nina, something urgent came up at the office. I have to go. You eat first, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I sat there until the restaurant closed for the night. He never came back.

That evening, I went home and scheduled an appointment for an abortion.

I placed a hand on my flat stomach. This unexpected child would never get to see the world. If there was anyone to blame, it was your father, whose love and promises were as fleeting as the wind.

I started packing my things. After seven years together, the gifts Jack had given me filled two large boxes. A custom night-light, matching watches engraved with our initials, pillows with our photos printed on them, a couples’ jigsaw puzzle, a thick stack of tickets from all the trips we’d taken…

He used to say that each gift held a memory of our time together, that when we were old, we would show them to our children and tell them the stories. I had cherished every single one.

Now, they were just junk, painful reminders of a love that was dying. I threw them all in the trash without a second thought.

When I arrived at the clinic, the doctor told me after a preliminary check that my health was too poor for the procedure. It would be safer to build up my strength first. I’d lost my appetite recently, and my weight had plummeted. She prescribed some supplements and told me to get more rest. I was to come back for another check-up the following week.

I walked home with the medicine, and as I reached my apartment building, I saw two figures arguing in the hallway. Or rather, the 34-year-old Jack was trying to drag the younger Jack away.

My Jack was holding a small velvet box. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing the faint scar on his collarbone. He’d gotten that in college when we went hiking. I’d slipped, and he’d thrown himself forward to catch me, his skin scraping against a sharp rock.

He shoved the older Jack away. “Get off me!” he growled. “I’m going home to see Nina!”

“Why are you even going back?” the older Jack, impeccably dressed, shot back. “You’re already falling for Chloe, so why are you still planning to propose to Nina? If you’re worried about the baby, just have her get rid of it.”

“Shut up! Chloe and I are just colleagues. I only love Nina.” My Jack’s eyes burned with a stubborn, youthful defiance. “You’re the one who cheated, you bastard. You have no idea how much I care about her.”

“Is that so?” the older one sneered. “Then why are you so happy when you’re with Chloe? When her boss was giving her a hard time, you gave her the job you promised to Nina.” He took a step closer. “And if that’s not love, then how do you explain this: when Nina had morning sickness and couldn’t eat, you ordered some random soup online for her. But when Chloe casually mentioned she was craving that special ramen from downtown, you drove halfway across the city to get it for her.”

My Jack froze. “I… I only felt sorry for her,” he stammered. “You told me about her difficult childhood.”

I felt a wave of nausea. I turned to leave, but he saw me.

He quickly pocketed the velvet box and rushed over, grabbing my hand. His voice became gentle. “When did you get back? I tried calling you.”

I pulled my hand free, my face a blank mask. “Just now. What is it?”

He seemed relieved, not knowing that I could see his older self, that his bizarre argument with the air wasn't a secret. He took my hand again, pulling me toward the elevator.

“I’ve been so busy with work lately, I’ve neglected you. I’m sorry about dinner yesterday. I booked the same restaurant again. Let’s have a proper meal tonight.”

“We don’t need to eat. I have something to say to you.”

I tried to pull away, but his grip was firm. He led me to the car, settled me in the passenger seat, and leaned over to buckle my seatbelt. Just as he had done countless times before, he gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his smile soft.

“I have something to say to you, too. We can talk over dinner.”