Chapter 4Bank Statements and Broken Vows

The next afternoon, we picked up Eleanor and headed toward the restaurant.

About ten minutes away, Mark pulled the SUV over to the shoulder. He said he had an urgent call from his boss, stepped out, and walked a few yards down the sidewalk.

Then, the CarPlay pinged.

The woman’s voice filled the car: "Babe, when are you going to Venmo me that three grand? I found the bag I want."

Then Mark’s voice. Laughing. Telling her the "old lady" had sent the preschool money and she could have it.

The audio ended. The oxygen completely evaporated from the car.

"…The 'old lady' he’s talking about. That’s me, isn't it."

I didn't turn around.

"Eleanor," I said, my voice shaking. "When Lily was born, you told me to quit my job. You said you’d help out with a thousand a month. It’s been four years, and I haven't seen a single cent. The only reason I reached out to you today is because Lily is starting preschool and I literally cannot afford the tuition. So I just wanted to ask... if you never intended to give us the money, why did you make me give up my career?"

"Sarah. Please, don't say anything else right now. Just let me breathe."

And then, she didn't say another word.

The car remained silent for so long that the only thing I could hear was the frantic, heavy thudding of my own heart against my ribs.

I stared blankly at the windshield. The edges of my vision were blurring.

In the back, completely oblivious, Lily was softly humming a nursery rhyme.

"Four years. I wired it every single month," Eleanor finally said. The words came out slow, heavy as lead. "A thousand a month. Twelve thousand a year. Forty-eight thousand dollars."

She took a shaky breath.

"Last year, for your birthday, I bought you a beautiful five-hundred-dollar winter coat. I gave it to Mark to give to you. He told me you hated the style, asked for the receipt to return it, and never gave me the cash back."

My fingers dug half-moons into the leather of my purse.

Eleanor’s voice grew quieter. "In the beginning, every time I sent the money, he told me you felt it was an insult. That it wasn't enough. He said you were so angry you didn't want to see me, and you didn't want me near Lily. I thought I had overstepped. I thought I had offended you. Eventually, I was just too afraid to even call."

A beat passed.

"The time I did call you? That was the day Mark came over and screamed at me. He said you were having a breakdown at home, blaming me for making you quit, saying you were broke. I wired him another two thousand dollars that very afternoon."

I pressed my nails so hard into my palms that the skin burned.

"We were broke," I whispered. My own voice sounded completely foreign to me. "I’ve been paying the mortgage entirely by myself for three and a half years. Almost two thousand a month. Formula, diapers, groceries, the electric bill. It all came from my savings. I had forty thousand dollars before I quit. It’s all gone. In four years, the total amount of money Mark has given me is maybe five hundred dollars. And that was just in the first few months. For three and a half years, he hasn't paid a dime."

"I raised this child alone. I paid for it alone. And I never dared to ask you for help, because he told me you despised me. Because he said you thought I was a pathetic mother who didn't deserve a penny of your money. And I believed him."

The car was suffocating. I heard the sharp crinkle of plastic—Eleanor gripping the gift bag she had brought.

"I didn't know," Eleanor whispered. It sounded like she was talking to a ghost. "I didn't know any of this."

"Neither did I," I said.

When Mark opened the driver's side door and slid into the seat, he still had a smile on his face.

Then he saw the dashboard screen frozen on his iMessage app, and the smile slowly vanished.