Chapter 2When Even My Wedding Became About My Sister, I Called It Off
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Noah thought I was joking.
To him, I was the lawyer who never gave an inch for a client but went home and said "it's fine" to everything.
But if I stopped being agreeable, nobody would need me.
My sister only had to show up to make everyone happy. I had to do so much just to earn a single "thank goodness for Elena."
I had always mistaken being needed for being loved.
The next day, Matteo came to pick me up, as planned, to see the estate where we would live after the wedding.
I was heading for the passenger seat when he caught my arm.
"Viola gets carsick. You sit in the back."
My sister came out just then. He opened the door for her and held his hand against the doorframe so she wouldn't bump her head.
I got into the back seat and didn't ask why she was coming.
I had designed the second-floor study myself. It was where I would work on client files after the wedding. I had gone back and forth with the designer over which lamp to put beside the desk.
Matteo had never looked at the plans.
"As long as you like it," he said.
At the time, I thought that meant he was leaving the decision to me.
Viola stood at the window for a while, then said, "This would be good for small meetings. Could I borrow it for the family negotiations next month?"
"Of course."
Matteo called the butler and told him to move my desk to the side wing and bring in a conference table.
The two of them stood shoulder to shoulder, discussing where the guests would sit and which door was best for security.
I stood in the doorway and honestly couldn't tell which one of us was moving into this house.
Viola looked back. "Elena, you don't mind, do you?"
I looked at Matteo.
"Do you know why I set up this room?"
"You can work anywhere. The family negotiations matter. You know better than anyone what's important."
I unclenched my hand. My nails had dug into my palm.
"Then go ahead and use it."
He patted my head, satisfied. I turned to the butler and added, "Send my things back to my apartment. There's no need to move them to the side wing."
Matteo's smile faltered. I didn't explain. I just packed up my laptop.
At least this time, I didn't have to figure out exactly how far they expected me to step back.
But it still hurt to think I would never wait here for him to come home. Giving up a study was easy. Giving up the life I had secretly imagined so many times was not.
As we left the estate, the dressmaker called. My dress for the wedding reception was ready.
Viola took my arm. "I'll come help you look it over."
The dress in the mirror was beautiful. I had made more than ten trips to the shop for it and reworked the neckline myself. For the first time, I thought I could be the center of attention too.
Then my sister took a call, and her face fell.
Her gown for that evening's dinner had been ruined in transit.
After looking over the ready-made dresses in the shop, Matteo pointed to the one I was wearing.
"That one will do. Viola, try it on."
The dressmaker spoke up quickly. "That gown was custom-made for the bride. If I alter it to fit her sister, it can't be changed back."
Matteo glanced at me as if there were no problem at all.
My sister needed it. So she got it.
My chest tightened, but it didn't hurt the way it used to.
"It's fine."
I went into the fitting room, took off the dress, and handed it to my sister.
Matteo looked surprised, then smiled.
"I knew you wouldn't make this hard for me. I'll help you pick another one later."
But the moment my sister came out, he crouched down and arranged every layer of her skirt.
"Careful. Don't step on it."
I had imagined a scene like that for myself.
At my first gown fitting, the dressmaker asked him to straighten my veil. He didn't even put down his phone.
"Doesn't the shop have people for this?"
So it wasn't that he didn't know how to be gentle. He just didn't want to be gentle with me.
I stared at his back and suddenly wanted to cry.
When I was little, my mother thought I wasn't as charming as my sister and made me stay in my room. Matteo was the only one who ever snuck me chocolate.
"You're not that bad. Stop crying."
I carried that one sentence with me for years.
Later, whenever he put in a word for me, I felt I could wait a little longer. When my sister turned him down and he proposed to me, I knew exactly why, and I said yes anyway.
I thought that if he chose me in the end, it would prove I wasn't just an extra in my own family.
So that was what I had never been able to let go of.
My phone buzzed. Noah was asking when I could come in to talk.
Matteo had already pulled a black dress off the rack and was urging me to change into it.
"This one's safe. Viola has somewhere to be. Don't keep her waiting."
Black again. Saving her time again.
I didn't take it. I asked the dressmaker to cancel the remaining fittings and return my design sketches to me.
On my way out of the shop, I replied to Noah, "The day of the wedding. I'll be there."