Chapter 1The Script of Destiny

I tried to hit on a beautiful woman, and she had me arrested.

At the station, the cop asked me, “What exactly did you do to her?”

I answered honestly. “I asked for her number. She ignored me. I gave my butt a pat and walked away.”

The words were barely out of my mouth when the beautiful woman, who had been silent until now, leaped to her feet and pointed a finger at me.

“You son of a bitch, you patted my ass!” she shrieked. “Officer! He slapped my ass! And he squeezed it! A few times! You have to help me!”

* * *

I was at a bar when I saw her in the booth across from me and fell instantly in love. My heart hammered against my ribs. I threw back two shots of whiskey for courage.

Just as I stood up, ready to make my move, a voice echoed in my head. The brave step I’d just taken, I silently took back.

My buddy, seeing me sit back down, was baffled. “What? You’re over her in five minutes?”

I sighed. “Nah, man. I just remembered… I’m not divorced yet.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t get you. You’re too damn honest. You said you’d be faithful, and you actually are?” he scoffed. “For all you know, that woman’s got a whole secret family on the side. Besides, you’re divorcing her tomorrow. You’re just getting a number, not proposing. She’ll never know. It’s fine.”

I hesitated.

“Just go for it, dude,” he urged. “You look sharp tonight. Sharp enough to make a nun question her vows. Don’t let it go to waste.”

He had a point.

Convinced, I grabbed my phone and stumbled over to her table. Before my brain could catch up and stop me, I blurted out, “Hi, could I… could I get your number?”

She stopped swirling the drink in her hand. For a long moment, there was silence. Then, she reached into her purse and pulled out two marriage certificates.

She lifted her chin, her expression a strange mix of pride and detached coldness. “Married.”

I was floored.

Seriously?

Who the hell comes to a singles’ night at a bar when they’re married?

Who the hell carries their marriage certificates around with them?

Who the hell uses their marriage certificates to ward off unwanted advances at a bar?

Seeing my stunned silence, she must have thought I didn’t believe her. She opened one of the certificates, showing it to me under the dim bar lights. Her movements were dramatic, almost like she was showing off. “See? It’s got the official seal. 100% legit. We’ve been married for seven years.”

Oh.

Literally no one cares.

I pursed my lips and turned to leave.