Chapter 1Whispers and Wild Guesses

During a variety show livestream, I was frantically gesturing to the award-winning actor, Ethan Vance, trying to get him to guess a phrase.

"Okay, imagine we're dating. If I just randomly slap you for no reason, what do you call that?"

Ethan tilted his head, his tone utterly confident. "A reward."

I gritted my teeth. "Four words!"

"Thank you, my queen? Do the left side too? Harder, please?"

The host: ...

Me: Heh.

Comments: [Stop giving him scenarios! You're just fueling his fantasies!]

* * *

It was a live variety show.

The phrase to guess was "Unreasonable behavior."

I was flailing my arms, trying to describe it to Ethan Vance.

"Imagine we're dating. If I just randomly slap you for no reason, what do you call that?"

He tilted his head, completely serious. "A reward."

I gritted my teeth. "Four words!"

"Thank you, my queen? Do the left side too? Harder, please?"

"It's an idiom! Four words!"

Ethan looked straight at me and, without blinking, rattled off a string of ridiculous answers.

"Consensual love? Soulmates forever? Happily ever after? Perfect match? Sleeping together?"

The host and other guests: ...

Me: Wow.

Dude, are you practicing your wedding vows or something?!

Feeling defeated, I waved at the staff.

"Pass! Pass! Next one."

The next phrase—"Ex-partner."

My vision went dark for a second, but I braced myself and spoke.

"Okay, same scenario as before. If we broke up, what would I be to you? Two words."

Ethan thought for a moment, then lifted his chin slightly.

"Mistress."

?

"Lover."

??

"Simp."

???!

The studio went silent.

The other guests looked like they were about to explode from holding back laughter.

The live comments were going wild.

[Zoey, stop with the scenarios! You're just making him happy!]

[Wait, who programmed Ethan like this?!]

[I suspect for the last question, he was definitely thinking "Thank you, Master!" because my boyfriend has the same vibe.]

[Hehe, sounds spicy.]

[Ethan: Doesn't matter what you say, I'm hearing what I want to hear!]

[Did anyone else think Ethan's tone when he said "sleeping together" was kinda... sus? Ahhh!]

[Zoey's fans, back off. Just because Ethan won an award doesn't mean you can ride his coattails. Know your place.]

[Is the commenter above okay? It's just a show, why so toxic?]

[If you don't like it, leave!]