Chapter 1The $88,000 Corporate Mascot: Getting Paid to Do Absolutely Nothing

I am my company’s "lucky charm," the boss's ultimate talisman.

To keep me around, the boss tried to seduce me with his looks. When that failed, he offered me a monthly salary of $88,000.

I didn't have to do any actual work. My everyday routine was just slacking off and getting paid for it.

Half a year later, the boss had a whirlwind wedding, and his new wife was helicoptered in as the Executive Vice President.

Seeing how much free time I had, and finding out her husband used to aggressively pursue me, she decided to kick me out while he was away on a business trip.

"I don't tolerate freeloaders in my sight. HR, give her a standard severance package and tell her to get lost!"

My colleagues frantically pleaded for me: "VP, please reconsider! She's our lucky charm, a living four-leaf clover. The company literally cannot survive without her!"

The boss's wife was furious at their pleading and stubbornly accused me of sleeping with the boss.

I wasn't going to take that kind of insult. I went straight for the jugular.

"Give me three months' severance, and I'll leave immediately!"

Hehehe. My best friend had just started a company right upstairs, and I was stressing over how to find an excuse to quit.

Thank you, Mrs. Boss, for the generous triple-salary severance gift!

* * *

My name is Penny Cash. Before I turned eighteen, I was a total magnet for bad luck.

After starting college at eighteen, I met my roommate, Goldie Price, who was just as unlucky as I was.

Two negatives make a positive. On the very first day we met, we bought a boba tea that came with a promotional scratch-off ticket, and we won $88,000.

From that day on, our bad luck vanished, and we finally got to live normal lives.

After graduation, I submitted hundreds of resumes, all of which sank to the bottom of the ocean.

I was exhausted. Let it all burn.

I laid around at home like a corpse for three months, and the more I laid there, the happier I felt.

Just as I was about to abandon the idea of working altogether, determined to comfortably live off my four retired grandparents as a useless freeloader, the boss of a soon-to-be bankrupt company found me.

"Ms. Cash, I'm begging you to save my life. Come work for my company, name your salary!"

I thought it was a scam and flatly refused.

This boss pulled a "persistence pays off" routine and staked out my house for eight days and eight nights.

I called the cops.

It turned out to be a massive misunderstanding.

The boss finally revealed the truth.

"My company is on the verge of bankruptcy. I suspected it was an occult issue, so I hired a top-tier psychic. The psychic pointed me to a solution: find a 22-year-old recent female college grad with the last name Cash living in Apartment 8B, Building 8 of Emerald Estates. Bring her in as a lucky mascot, and our luck will turn around."

"Ms. Cash, I'm at the end of my rope. Science can't solve this, so I have to try the occult. Otherwise, my company goes under, I go bankrupt with tens of millions in debt, and the hundreds of employees under me will be jobless. In this terrible economy, what are they supposed to do..."

The more he spoke, the more heartbroken he got. By the end, he was literally wailing and sobbing in front of me.

The cops couldn't do anything and told us to resolve it ourselves.

I went to his company for an on-site inspection. After looking at his various corporate licenses and certificates, confirming he was indeed the boss, I decided to help him out.

"A monthly salary of $8,800. We'll sign a one-year contract first. I'll just be a lucky mascot. I won't do anything, just lay flat and slack off every day, okay?"

"Oh, by the way, I don't want standard weekends. I want a four-day workweek. I'll pick one weekday every week to take off."

Based on the current market rate for fresh college grads, and compared to my classmates' salaries, $8,800 was definitely upper-tier.

I had no skills, and I didn't want to do anything. I was already very satisfied with this salary and benefits package.

The boss, Harrison Cole, was also very satisfied. He agreed to all my demands and immediately signed the contract with me.

I originally thought I just had dumb luck and ran into an idiot boss who had been brainwashed by a con artist.

But right after we signed the contract, the Sales Director burst in, announcing that the major client he had been chasing for two months had agreed to sign—and was willing to increase the upfront deposit to 50 percent.

The deposit from that order alone was enough to bring the company back from the dead.

The boss dropped to his knees right there and gave me three loud, resounding kowtows.

"My dear God, from now on, you are my Goddess of Wealth!"