Chapter 1The Prize Unwon

It was the year I had my best shot at winning an Oscar. Suddenly, scandalous photos of me flooded the internet. The Academy said they couldn't give the award to someone with questionable morals and removed me from the nominations. Only my boyfriend, Ryan, tirelessly defended my name. Later, my reputation was cleared, but I missed out on the Oscar.

Ryan pulled me into his arms, comforting me, “It’s okay, Aubrey. Just wait. Next time, you’ll definitely be an Oscar winner.”

“Next time, I’ll be there with you. Next Valentine’s Day, we’ll go public.”

I’d heard Ryan say “next time” too many times. So this time, I refused.

“No need for a ‘next time,’ Ryan. Why did that gossip blog call you for the final payment last night after spreading those pictures of me?”

* * *

A long silence followed my words. My heart grew heavier and heavier with each passing second. Just as I thought Ryan wouldn't speak, I heard his strained denial: “Aubrey, you’ve been under too much stress lately. You must have seen things.”

I forced a smile, one that must have been dripping with sarcasm. How could I have been mistaken?

From the moment I got nominated, that blog relentlessly spread rumors about me—half-truths, half-lies. None of my industry colleagues, who could have easily vouched for me, dared to step forward and clarify. They couldn't guarantee that on the days we were on set together, I hadn't somehow become a master of time management, sneaking off for illicit affairs behind their backs. I’d clarify one thing, and another ambiguous rumor would immediately surface.

I broke down, even starting to doubt if I had really done those things. It was Ryan who held me then, promising earnestly, “It’s okay, Aubrey. I’m here. I believe you.” His embrace felt so warm and reliable. Ryan looked at me with aching sympathy, swearing, “Aubrey, I will make sure the truth comes out. I won’t let you bear this stigma.”

And Ryan delivered. Everyone mourned my missed Oscar. Only I felt lucky to have Ryan. This blissful illusion lasted until that gossip blog called, chasing their final payment. Thinking about it, tears streamed down my face. Yes, who else in Hollywood, besides Ryan, who I saw day in and day out, would know my schedule inside and out?

“You’re telling me I saw things? I’m going to press criminal charges against all those blogs.”

“No!” Ryan refused without a second thought, his voice sharp and decisive.

I scoffed inwardly, knowing he wouldn’t want that. If I pursued it, those blogs, paid to do their dirty work, would surely expose him, thereby affecting the other woman he truly wanted to protect. Seeing my red-rimmed eyes, he sighed.

“Lily is still young, just starting out. She needs awards to prove herself.” He paused. “Aubrey, wait for the next time. I promise you, the next Oscar will be yours.”

Ten years ago, a younger Aubrey would have willingly waited for another chance. But now, at 29, this was my last opportunity for this age-restricted award.

“No!” I rejected him. “This is an award I earned through my talent. Why should I give it to her?!”

Ryan’s eyes darkened, his expression unreadable. “Aubrey, when did you become so unreasonable?” He continued. “I told you before, Lily Sterling’s mother has cancer. Her lifelong wish is to see her daughter succeed, to achieve fame and fortune. Are you unwilling to grant even that wish?”

Hearing his self-righteous accusation, I was momentarily stunned, almost disbelieving that these words came from Ryan. Seeing my silence, Ryan assumed I had conceded and said softly, “Now Lily has received the honor and recognition her mother hoped for. You have the talent and skill, and you’re a seasoned veteran in the industry. Whether you win an award or not doesn’t really matter to you, does it? Your scandal has been cleared up. You’re not affected, are you?”

Every word he spoke cut into my heart like a knife. I felt as if I’d been split in two. One half was in excruciating pain, the other half quietly asked Ryan, “Does her wish have to be achieved through my sacrifice, through my ruined reputation?”

Ryan looked at me with an expression that said, “How are you still not understanding?” His tone gradually lost its patience. “Lily has a proud disposition. If it wasn’t done this way, she would never have accepted it.”

Before our argument could continue, my phone suddenly rang.

“Aubrey! Are you with Ryan?” The voice on the other end was bright and cheerful. “Ryan insisted on throwing a celebration party for me, and now it’s just the two of you we’re waiting for. We can’t start without you two.” She continued. “You absolutely have to come today! How can the hosts of the party be missing?”

Lily Sterling’s voice was full of anticipation. She sounded like a lucky person, completely oblivious, for whom good fortune had suddenly fallen from the sky. I opened my mouth, accusations and sarcasm churning in my throat. A hand reached over from beside me, taking the phone from my grasp.

“Yes, we’ll be right there. You all go ahead and enjoy yourselves.”

Ryan must not have noticed the tenderness and fondness that filled his expression at that moment. I suddenly remembered when Ryan and I first got together; he had looked at me the same way. Back then, I was a struggling extra, a nobody in Hollywood, and Ryan was an unknown production assistant. We shared one meal between two sittings. After eating that cold dinner, we’d lie in our cramped apartment, where the window was smaller than a computer screen, looking at the sky obscured by the city’s smog. We made promises to each other. I said I wanted to win Best Young Actress before I turned thirty. Ryan smiled and said he would work hard too, so he could cast me, the Best Actress, in his film.

Back then, we were each other’s support, each other’s refuge. Now, that beautiful dream felt like a melted cake—sticky and nauseating.

Lily Sterling, in an elegant white dress, her eyes lit up when she saw us. She was radiant, brimming with joy, and her effervescent presence was like a corrosive poison, eating away at my insides, causing unspeakable pain.

“Aubrey, Ryan, you’re finally here! We were just waiting for you.”

As I entered, the boisterous party suddenly fell silent. I heard someone whisper, “Why is she here?”

“Her sugar daddy scandal is everywhere. How can she still have the nerve to show her face?”

Another person scoffed, their voice neither too loud nor too soft. “What’s there to be embarrassed about? That’s ancient history. Didn’t Director Thorne go to great lengths to clarify it was AI?”

Low laughter rippled through the room.

“Technology’s advanced, so there are more excuses now. If it really was a rumor, why didn’t she sue? Why didn’t she stand up for herself? This was her last year for that award. Maybe she’s guilty and doesn’t dare.”

“Some people just can’t even find a sugar daddy correctly. She’s almost an old woman and still can’t win an award. Lily Sterling, on the other hand, has good luck, she’s young and beautiful, and has a benefactor.”

Hearing these blatant whispers, I looked at Ryan. I hoped he would say something, anything—even a word of defense or the performative support he'd given online before. Yet, Ryan simply walked past me as if he hadn't heard a thing, approaching Lily Sterling with gentlemanly tenderness.

“You look beautiful today, Lily. That dress suits you perfectly.”

“Really? I knew you’d like it!” With that, Lily twirled around, like a happy little songbird. Her joy came to an abrupt halt when she saw me. Lily’s face held a cautious, uneasy expression. “Aubrey, I really didn’t expect you to come. Thank you so much.” She paused. “So many people online are saying I only got this award by fluke, that I have no talent, and that it’s undeserved. I was so sad for a long time. Ryan said you’d attend my celebration party and show your support for me winning the Oscar, and then the public opinion would slowly die down.”

A wave of overwhelming absurdity washed over me. I almost lost control then and there. I asked, stunned, “I’m showing public support for your Oscar win? Did you hire paparazzi?”