Chapter 4I Choose To Let Go

A corner of the white sheet was lifted, revealing my pale, wet face, bloodless and with eyes tightly shut.

My soul floated in mid-air, looking at my body on the ground.

So, drowned people actually look this ugly.

The onlookers whispered.

"Poor kid, what a tragedy! He's been sick for so long, why couldn't he just hang on a bit longer?"

"The kid obviously had had enough. He walked with his body trembling all over. When I saw him, he had to lean against the wall to walk. He must have been in so much pain!"

"Poor thing! Maybe he'll finally find peace."

A forensic doctor and police officers had arrived at the pond.

Mom wailed over my corpse.

Dad's legs gave way, and he collapsed to the ground, lips trembling. He crawled over to my corpse on all fours and grabbed my hand. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but no sound came out.

My brother clenched his fists tightly, tears and snot streaming down his face. Mom's shrill cries echoed across the pond.

The people around were mostly neighbors who lived nearby. Most of them knew about my illness, and they quickly came forward to comfort my family.

Mom cried, "My son! My son was just discharged from the hospital earlier today! I even said I'd make grilled meat for him! Jack, you died hungry! How could this happen?! My son!"

Dad sobbed uncontrollably. He slapped himself hard twice.

"It's my fault! I'm a useless father! My son couldn't live because of me! I deserve to die too!"

The neighbors tried to console them. Even the cops couldn't bear to watch. After concluding that it was an accidental drowning, they handed the report to my mother and urged her to arrange my funeral as soon as possible.

Video surveillance showed that I jumped in on my own, with no one else involved.

Mom still couldn't come to terms with it. "We killed him!"

I told her, "Mom, I don't blame you. It has nothing to do with you. I just couldn't live like that anymore! You did your best, so I don't blame you at all! Dad, Mom, now that I'm dead, you don't have to worry about me anymore."

Unfortunately, no one could hear me.

Seeing how sad my family was, our neighbors sighed with emotion. They helped my family carry my corpse back.

Everyone was saying that I couldn't bear the pain anymore, and death was probably a release.

After that, they helped send my body to the funeral home.

Mom was still heartbroken, clinging desperately to my body and refusing to let go.

Eventually, the neighbors pulled her away.

"Mary, don't be like this. If Jack could see you, he would feel bad!"

"Jack left us because he couldn't bear the pain anymore. If he sees you like this from heaven, he won't rest in peace!"

"Jack was blessed to be born into your family. You've done all you could in the past three years. He wouldn't blame you."

They held Mom back.

Dad stumbled along after them, while my brother tightly clenched his fists the whole way.

Seeing this, I shook my head behind them. I hope they could understand that I didn't commit suicide to punish them.

I didn't blame them. I simply couldn't bear the pain anymore, and I didn't want to be a burden to them anymore.

When they returned to the rented flat, my parents stared at my room with vacant eyes. My brother silently walked in.

When he saw the suicide note on the bedside table, he immediately became emotional. "Look, Jack left this behind!"

My parents quickly rushed over. The three of them huddled together to read the suicide note.

After that, all three of them broke down.

The note read:

"Dad, Mom, and Alan,

"By the time you find this suicide note, I'm probably dead. I've never blamed you guys. On the contrary, I feel guilty for being such a burden.