Chapter 1The Sunrise Doesn't Wait

At my husband's book launch, the young woman beside me leaned in close. "Are you a fan of Professor Gyver too? I don't think I've seen you here before."

Julian and I had kept our marriage private, so I shook my head. "I was just passing by. It sounded lively in here, so I came in to look."

She noticed the white cane by my feet, and understood at once.

Onstage, the host asked Julian where the book had come from. He looked toward my side of the room, and his voice went soft.

"I promised the person I love that we'd watch a sunrise together. It never happened, for various reasons. So I wrote the regret into the book."

When it ended, applause filled the hall. The girl beside me went bounding up and threw herself into his arms.

"Professor! The book's out. When are you taking me to see that sunrise you promised?"

My smile froze on my face. The sunrise was mine. It had always been Julian's promise to me.

Julian ruffled her hair, helpless, let his eyes sweep past me from across the room, then took her hand and left.

He didn't know I could see again.

That was the only reason I'd come. To tell him that the sunrise we'd waited so long for was finally ours to watch.

He'd always said the auditorium was too crowded, that he couldn't find me. So I'd wait alone until every light went out, then leave with my cane.

He could find me. That was never the problem. He just wanted a different girl beside him when the lights were on him.

I dropped the plane tickets I'd bought for him into the trash.

The sunrise doesn't wait. Neither do I.

* * *

I stayed in my seat until the last light in the auditorium went out. Only then did I come back to myself.

In the dark, I pulled up a bitter smile. Habit was a terrible thing.

A click, and the lights came back on.

One of the student volunteers hurried over. "Ma'am, I'm sorry. I thought everyone had gone."

I smiled and told him it was fine.

Then something seemed to occur to him.

"I feel like I've seen you before. You're the one who always stays till the end of Professor Gyver's talks, aren't you?"

Something turned over in my chest. Even a stranger had noticed. Julian hadn't reacted at all.

I nodded and started to leave, but he called after me.

"There's a dinner upstairs tonight for the professor. You seem to really love his work. Do you want to come?"

I could see now, but everything still swam a little at the edges. I followed him up to the second floor, cane tapping ahead of me.

Toby Reese, according to the name on his lanyard, found me a seat in a corner. When I looked toward the head table, Julian was putting food on a young woman's plate.

A little later he raised his glass.

"Thank you all for coming. Tonight we're celebrating two things. My new book, and Clara, who landed a tenure-track appointment less than two years out of her doctorate."

He turned to her, and his eyes went warm. "Clara. My best student. Congratulations."

So that was Clara Bell. Julian used to talk about her all the time.

At the beginning he'd only complained. The new grad student had shaky fundamentals, needed hand-holding for everything, kept him revising her drafts until midnight. Now she was his proudest student, standing at his elbow, asking in a teasing lilt when he was going to take her to see the sunrise.

They traded shop talk at the head table that I couldn't follow. I smiled at myself. When I asked Julian about work, the most I ever got was "It's fine." With Clara he went back and forth for hours, lit up from the inside. He'd never once looked like that with me.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. I forgot you can't see. Let me put some food on your plate."

Toby's voice carried, and heads turned. Julian looked over.

Same as before. One glance, then away.

He wasn't going to claim me.

My hand tightened under the table until my nails bit into my palm. Under the brightest lights sat a matched pair, both brilliant, both admired. I was a blind woman who didn't even have a job.

"Professor Gyver, this lady's a real fan of yours. She comes to all your talks, and she always stays till the very end."

Clara's face lit up when she saw me.

"She was sitting right next to me earlier. She was too shy to tell me she was one of your readers."

She fetched a copy of Julian's new book. "Professor, sign it for her."

From the corner where I sat, I watched his hands start to shake. He looked at me and found nothing to do with any of it. Every eye in the room was on him. He swallowed whatever was on his face and signed the title page with his pen name.

He handed the book to Toby, and Clara made a show of being offended. "Professor, that's so cold. She loves your work. The least you can do is give it to her yourself."

Someone nearby asked, curious, "Sorry if this is rude, but with the cane, I'm guessing you can't see. How do you read the professor's books?"

I made myself smile. "My husband reads them to me every night."

Julian used to dry my hair after my shower, then pick up a book, pull me back against his chest, and read to me in that low voice of his. In the quiet of the night it sounded unbearably gentle.

I used to think that was all happiness was.