Chapter 1Crushed by My Girlfriend's Rigged Dice

We can't settle on our holiday plans, so my girlfriend, Janine Simpson, starts a group chat with the three of us.

"Let's roll the dice. Whoever gets the highest number decides. That's the fairest way."

My friend, Mitchell Stone, rolls a six and wants to go to Marisport.

I roll a one. I wanted to go to Rosemont.

Rosemont isn't a random pick. It's the place my late mother had always wanted to visit but never got the chance to.

This year marks five years since she passed away, and I've promised her I would see Lake Azure for her.

Janine knew that, too. Three months ago, she held my hand and promised she would go with me this year.

"Fair's fair. You lost the bet."

She sends a little pat-on-the-head sticker in the group chat.

This is the 27th time this year that I've rolled a one. The week before, I'd lost when we were choosing a restaurant for our team dinner. The week before that, it was a movie.

Then yesterday, I used Janine's tablet to look up travel guides and accidentally came across her synced text messages. Her chat with a friend sat right at the top.

"I sent you the dice plugin. It can roll whatever number you want."

"Thanks. Cameron can get quite stubborn. This is the only way to get him to agree to things."

I stared at those messages for a long time and placed the tablet back where I found it.

She has known all along what Rosemont meant to me, and it turns out I haven't been losing because of sheer bad luck. I've been losing because she has already taken someone else's side.

I leave the group chat and book a direct flight to Rosemont. On the first day of the holiday at 7:00 am, I will board the plane alone.

* * *

Janine Simpson came out of the bathroom, towel-drying her hair, and glanced at me. "Done with the itinerary? Mitchell just sent a few more popular restaurants. Add them to the plan, will you?"

"Forget it," I said calmly, keeping my eyes on her.

Her hands stopped. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I'm just a little tired and want to rest."

I turned toward the closet and started looking through my clothes. She came over and wrapped her arms around my waist from behind. "Okay, you can rest. I'll have Mitchell handle the itinerary."

She rested her cheek against my shoulder. "Cheer up, okay? Tomorrow, I'll stop by the mall after work and get you that pair of noise-canceling headphones you've been eyeing. Take that as compensation, alright?"

Janine was always like this. She would hurt me first, then offer me something sweet, as if a few little gestures and a bit of compensation would make me swallow my hurt like I used to.

I gently pulled myself out of her arms. "No, thanks."

The next evening, Janine came home carrying several large shopping bags. She dropped them onto the couch and beckoned me over like a kid showing off a prized gift.

"Cameron, come see what I got you."

I walked over and saw that the bags were filled with sunscreen, sun hats, and a few brightly colored beach shirts—everything one would need for a beach trip.

"Mitchell said this brand of sunscreen is really good, so I picked up a set for you too."

As she spoke, she pulled out a red beach shirt and held it up against me. "You're going to look great in this in pictures. I'll take plenty of photos of you guys when we're there."

My eyes fell on the tag. It read "L".

I was six feet tall and always wore a size XL. Mitchell Stone, on the other hand, had a slimmer build and wore a size L.

"It's too small for me," I said flatly.

Janine froze for a second, glanced at the tag, and then laughed it off.

"Haven't you lost some weight lately? It's a loose fit. You'll fit just fine. Besides, Mitchell wears a size L. If it doesn't fit you, just give it to him. I'll get you a new one."

The matter-of-fact way she said it left me too exhausted even to get upset.

Was this her idea of making it up to me? Buying the brand Mitchell liked, picking out clothes in his size, and then calling them gifts for me?

Just then, her phone lit up. It was a voice message from Mitchell. I didn't bother, but Janine had already picked up her phone.

As she played the message on speaker, his deliberately softened voice filled the living room.

"Nini, I'm so looking forward to this trip to Marisport. Cameron's compromising for me this time, so make sure you take good care of him afterward."

Janine tapped the voice-message button and replied in a gentle voice, "Oh, he understands. Just make sure you pack your own things."

After sending it, she turned to me. "See how thoughtful Mitchell is? He even knows to look out for you."

I looked at her. All of a sudden, the woman I had been in love with for seven years felt terrifyingly foreign.

I said nothing and walked into the bedroom.

I pulled out a small carry-on bag and started packing everything I would need for Rosemont—a warm jacket, a waterproof shell, and a comfortable pair of sneakers.

Janine followed me into the bedroom and looked puzzled. "Why are you bringing clothes that heavy to Marisport? It's still hot there."

"I get cold easily," I answered without looking up.

"Well, suit yourself. Just don't complain about how heavy it is later on."

She shrugged and turned to pack her 28-inch suitcase, stuffed with snacks, first-aid medicine, and all kinds of beach essentials she had bought for Mitchell.

I quietly watched her busy herself. She zipped up the packed suitcase, filled with everything they would need for the beach.

That night, I opened our joint travel fund account and turned off the automatic transfers.