Chapter 2He Thinks He's the Other Man

I met Liam at a university alumni mixer. He was three years ahead of me, a law school graduate from the same program as my brother. He was so ridiculously good-looking that my usual social anxiety went out the window.

“Hi,” I’d said, walking right up to him. “Are you in the market for a girlfriend? Because I’m available.”

Liam’s response was characteristically brief. “Okay.”

And just like that, I had a handsome boyfriend.

We both lived in the same city but on opposite sides of town, so with our work schedules, we were lucky if we saw each other more than once a week. Most of our relationship lived online. It felt like a long-distance relationship with a shared zip code.

And online Liam was… cold. Glacial, even.

[Me]: Babe! Got off work early. Movie night?

[Liam]: Okay.

[Me]: Pick me up?

[Liam]: Sure.

That was him. He could use one word where none were necessary. He could use a period where an emoji would have been friendly. Half the time, I felt like I was dating a highly intelligent chatbot.

But for that face, I tolerated it for almost a year.

Waking up on a Saturday morning and seeing him next to me made the whole week of monosyllabic texting feel worth it. And Liam was anything but cold in bed. He knew exactly when to move, when to breathe, when to… well.

But even the most handsome face can start to feel like wallpaper if the person behind it never talks to you.

So, I started pushing back.

[Me]: Liam, could you please try to use more than one word when you text me back?

[Liam]: Okay.

I laughed, a sharp, frustrated sound.

Five minutes later, two more words appeared.

[Liam]: Good night.

That was it. I was done. Let someone else date the handsome robot.

I was the one who initiated the breakup.

[Me]: Liam, I think we need to take a break. Just to cool off and think.

[Liam]: Sure.

The exact same response he gave when we started dating. He really was an AI.

I threw my phone onto my bed and went to my mom’s, ready for a good cry.

“Mom, it’s over!” I wailed. “I got dumped by a robot!”

Which is how, full circle, my mother ended up dragging me to a jewelry store.

I leaned over the counter, re-reading the message from Liam. Wow. Ten whole words, including punctuation. A new record.

So, he could form a sentence.

But he’d gotten the wrong idea. Completely. Not that it mattered. He was my ex. Why should I explain a damn thing?

I blocked his number. Decisively.

Across the store, Liam stared at his phone, his brow furrowing. He tapped the screen a few more times. My phone remained silent. His face darkened for a split second. He must have gotten the delivery failure notification. Good.