Chapter 1My Peace Offer, His Agony

After I was the one to break the silence between us, I saw the box of ultra-thins in Alex’s passenger seat.

I quietly put them away for him, saying nothing.

Alex shot me a complicated look and offered an explanation.

“Look again. The whole box is there. We just ran out of the ones at home.”

I hummed in acknowledgment, feigning sleep in the uncomfortable seat.

He didn't speak again until he pulled the car over to the side of the road, his voice soft.

“Let’s pick up some supplements. We’ll go to your family's home for New Year's and visit your mom.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears. I turned my back to him.

My mother was dead. And he still didn't know.

* * *

“Ava? Are you listening to me?”

Alex’s voice hardened, a familiar pressure in his tone.

My own voice was raspy. “There’s no need.”

There’s no need to go back. Not ever again.

He misunderstood. He leaned over, trying to see my face.

“Are you angry?

“Please, just trust me, okay? Here, you can count them if you want.”

He opened the box and tipped out all the condoms. His eyes held a look of weary indulgence, as if he were dealing with a petulant child.

I wiped my tears and looked over. “I’m really not angry.”

Alex leaned in and hugged me, sighing. “You say you’re not angry.

“But you’ve been wanting me to go back with you, haven’t you?

“It’s New Year's, and for once, I don’t have any work events.

“If we miss this chance, who knows when the next one will be.”

His hand gently rubbed my back, just like he always did.

But I felt nothing. I numbly pushed him away and nodded. “Okay. Let’s go, then.”

The last thing my mother had said was that her son-in-law was too busy with work; she hadn’t even gotten to see him. If Alex had time on New Year's, it would be good for him to pay his respects.

After all, once we were divorced, there would be no reason to ask him to go again.

I ordered a lot of things online, mostly offerings for her grave.

I was worried about inflation in the afterlife and wanted to make sure she had enough.

But on New Year’s Day, Alex didn’t come home.