Chapter 3The Mother We Lost and Found

By some miracle, Momma didn't die.

But she wasn't right. She just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, eyes wide open but seeing nothing. I'd call her name, touch her hand, but she wouldn't react.

After they… got rid of the baby… strange sounds started coming from the room at night. Soft whimpering, sometimes choked little cries.

The neighbors knew what was going on. They whispered amongst themselves how the Millers were too hard on Emily, how treating a woman like that wouldn't bring a boy, might even curse the family.

When Grandma Hazel heard the gossip, she stormed over to the neighbor’s house and beat the woman who’d been talking. Came back muttering how her grandson was coming soon, just wait and see.

Then one day, just like that, Momma seemed… better.

She started eating again, sleeping through the night. She even looked healthier, put on a little weight.

But her mind was gone. She’d gone crazy. She started carrying around this old, worn-out baby doll, cradling it to her belly, saying it was her baby boy.

She'd tape pictures of smiling babies torn from magazines onto her stomach and wander around the property, sometimes drifting down the road. If she saw someone, she'd lift her shirt right up, eager to show them her "son."

Folks in the area knew she wasn’t right in the head. Some felt sorry for her, but mostly they just thought it was funny, something to gossip about. They’d tease her sometimes when they saw her.

That would scare Momma bad. She'd clutch the doll tighter and run away, like she was afraid they'd frighten her baby.

But Grandma Hazel and Dad couldn't stand being laughed at.

They locked Momma in the house. She could move around inside, but they wouldn't let her out the door. A crazy woman could still work, after all. Still slop the hogs, scrub the floors.

Momma didn’t get any better, though. Seemed to get worse, actually.

She’d spend longer and longer just staring into space. When she wasn't zoned out, she'd follow Dad around, holding up the doll, wanting him to admire "their son."

Finally, Dad got fed up. He dragged her out back and shoved her into the empty pigsty next to the one with the hogs. Told her she could sleep there with the dirt. Said if she was so sure she had a baby, maybe they should just cut her open and take a look.