Chapter 1The Secret CEO's Accidental Promotion

I am the company ghost. Zero presence. My name at the office is literally "That Girl."

Everyone can order me around. I have no complaints, no attitude.

Even the new interns dump their coffee runs on me.

But despite this, I've never thought about quitting.

Because in my forgotten corner of the corporate machine, I spend my days slacking off and running my side hustles, quietly stacking cash until my bank account is thick.

I thought I would stay invisible forever, until a promotion dropped from the sky...

The company went public, and the CEO wanted to give pre-IPO shares to the founding members.

A quick headcount revealed me, the invisible veteran.

The CEO finally noticed me, this lowly employee who had been there since day one. He was instantly moved by my "unwavering loyalty."

On the spot, he decided to give me the position that all the executives were fighting tooth and nail for: Chief Operating Officer.

* * *

When I was a kid playing "store," I was always the boss, and the other kids were the customers.

I'd price a piece of candy at one dollar. After the customers haggled, I'd end up paying them a dollar to take the candy.

After years of this, I never made a single cent.

My parents shook their heads, confirming I had zero business talent.

Because I was so dense, my parents worried I'd get eaten alive in the real world. So, they passed down their corporate survival wisdom.

My mom's survival guide was five words: Lay Low, Play Dumb, Slack Off.

She said if I mastered these, I'd be a qualified corporate slicker and survive anywhere.

My dad, however, scoffed at this. They argued constantly.

His philosophy was the opposite: Hustle hard, be loud, read the room, sweet talk everyone.

Only by doing these four things could one get promoted, get a raise, and reach the pinnacle of life.

My mom told me not to listen to him, or I'd burn out and get replaced by a nepotism hire.

My dad told me not to listen to her, or I'd be stuck in entry-level hell forever.

My mom argued that putting all your eggs in one basket was stupid. If the company folded, you'd be screwed. So, you need a side hustle.

My dad called that heresy. If everyone slacked off, the company would fold. But if everyone hustled like him, the company would grow, benefits would improve, and everyone would win.

I was caught in the middle. Sometimes Mom made sense, sometimes Dad did.

The key was, they both proved their points with their lives.

My mom stayed entry-level until retirement, but her embroidery side hustle sold pieces internationally for thousands.

My dad hustled his way from clerk to VP, taking a local company to the Fortune 500.

After graduating, I synthesized their wisdom into my own version.

I adopted my mom's "lay low, play dumb, slack off."

And I added my dad's "read the room."

Combining these, I successfully became the most marginalized ghost in the company.