Chapter 1My Roommate Slandered My Private Life

My roommate, Zach, spent three days parading around half-naked in the background of my video calls.

He even had the nerve to yell, "Bro, those abs are insane. Where did you get your personal trainer? I’m trying to turn this six-pack into an eight-pack."

Then he secretly tracked down my girlfriend's Instagram and added her.

He started spreading rumors that my private life was a chaotic mess, claiming I was out partying and hooking up every night.

What he didn't know was that my girlfriend, Anna, was one of the top three heiresses of the East Coast elite.

And she was hopelessly, obsessively devoted to me.

How obsessed? Last semester, a girl at the campus coffee shop gave me a free pastry and a flirty smile, and Anna almost bought out the entire franchise just to get her fired.

So, how many rounds do you think Zach is going to survive?

It all started last Wednesday.

I was FaceTimeing Anna that night. She had just hopped out of the shower, her hair still damp, wearing a simple white tank top and smiling at me through the screen.

"Hey, Nate. Did you miss me today?"

Before I could even answer, Zach strolled right past my desk behind me.

Shirtless.

He actually slowed his pace, walking with a bizarre strut that looked like a cross between a runway model and someone dealing with severe constipation.

He made his way to the water dispenser, poured himself a glass, and then conveniently turned around to stretch right in front of my camera.

"Man, today's workout was brutal."

On the screen, Anna blinked. "Nate, what is up with your roommate?"

Before I could say a word, Zach leaned in close to the camera.

"Hey, beautiful!" He grinned like a sketchy salesman. "Your guy here has some insane abs. Where did he get his personal trainer? I'm trying to turn my six-pack into an eight-pack."

I looked down at my chest.

Bro, I was wearing a loose hoodie. What abs could you possibly be seeing?

Anna let out a soft laugh on the other end.

"Really? Yeah, my Nate is pretty amazing."

Zach's eyes lit up.

He actually thought Anna was flirting back. In reality, she just thought he was a complete freak.

After we hung up, I lay in bed scrolling through my phone.

From the top bunk opposite mine, Harvey poked his head out and lowered his voice. "Nate, that’s the third time."

"Third time what?"

"The third time Zach has wandered around shirtless behind you during a call," Harvey said, rolling his eyes. "And it only happens when you’re FaceTimeing your girl. What a wild coincidence, right?"

I quieted down for a second.

To be honest, I hadn't paid much attention to it before. I’m a pretty laid-back guy, and I always assumed roommates didn't play those kinds of petty games.

But now that Harvey mentioned it, I started putting the pieces together.

On Monday, Zach went shirtless and asked, "Hey bro, what body wash is that? Smells incredibly good."

On Tuesday, Zach went shirtless, did twenty push-ups right by my desk, and asked, "Do you think my chest is looking wider?"

And today, he was suddenly complimenting abs I didn't even have.

"What is he trying to pull?" I asked Harvey.

Harvey looked at me like I was the dumbest guy on campus.

"Nate, he's flexing for your girl."

I fell silent.

Seriously? It was that blatant?

I had lived with Zach for two years. We weren't best friends, but we were tight enough. Surely he wouldn't pull something that low.

"You're overthinking it," I said.

Harvey just shook his head and retreated back to his bunk. His expression said everything: You'll see soon enough.