Chapter 1The Day I Stopped Waiting

On my 28th birthday, my grandma was nagging me about getting engaged again.

I took an Uber to my boyfriend's office. Through the door, I heard him talking to a female colleague. He said I was average-looking, came from a mediocre family, and wasn't a match for his status. He said his mother had always looked down on me, so he was hesitating about marrying me.

We had been together since we were 18. Ten whole years. I never thought he was weighing the pros and cons of loving me.

That night, when he came home, for the first time, I didn't ask him about his day. I just ate in silence, showered, and went to bed.

Lying in bed, he asked me, "Natalie, you're so quiet today. You're not throwing a tantrum and trying to break up with me, are you?"

I asked him, "Do you want to break up?"

Liam said, "Yeah."

Then he got up, got dressed, and went to drinks with that female colleague.

I didn't cry. I didn't feel sad. I just opened my chat app.

I scrolled to an old classmate who was desperate to get married and typed: "Want to give us a try?"

* * *

It was 1 AM when I sent the message, but I didn't feel rude.

I knew how much pressure Jake was under to get married. He was definitely more desperate than I was.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, a reply came.

"?"

"Natalie, are you serious? I thought you had a boyfriend."

Me: "Just broke up. Tired of trial and error with men. If you don't mind, we can make do."

Jake barely hesitated. A second later, he sent: "OK."

Then came a wall of text explaining his situation.

"You know I'm still deployed. I'm stationed out in the Northwest, probably won't be discharged for another year."

"After that, I don't know if I'll be reassigned or have to find a new job. Income is uncertain."

"I have a condo right now, my mom bought it for me, paid in full. You can live there after we marry."

"I have about $50k in savings, plus a severance package when I get out. But I don't have the knack for making big money like your ex."

Back in the day, Jake sat behind me in class. He had seen everything between me and Liam.

Since he didn't mind, I had nothing else to say.

I replied "Mmh," and we set a time to get the license.

He had a week of leave coming up. I still had time to pack and move.

After handling the marriage stuff, I opened Instagram.

Predictably, Liam's female colleague, Bella, had posted a story: [Drinking away the sorrows with my childhood bestie brother.]

In the photo, Liam and Bella were clinking glasses, heads touching, extremely intimate.

Their breaths were mingling, and Liam's eyes looked hazy.

I liked the post.

The next second, Liam texted me.

[Jealous? Don't start drama. Bella is just like a little sister to me.]

Right. They grew up together. Their relationship was closer than ours.

Bella looked like a porcelain doll. Liam liked her, and honestly, even I liked her looks.

She studied abroad and only recently came back to work at the family company, reconnecting with Liam.

I used to naively treat her like a little sister. It took a long time to realize their circle was exclusive.

Before Bella came back, Liam would take me to gatherings.

His friends weren't warm, but they were polite.

After Bella returned, she became the only girl in the group.

Every time they went out, Liam said I didn't like crowds and left me behind.

I knew the truth. He thought I lacked social grace, wasn't savvy, and wasn't as smart as Bella.

Liam and I fought about these unspoken comparisons many times.

Every time, I was the one who compromised and backed down.

So this time, when Liam assumed I was throwing a tantrum, I didn't argue.

I texted back: [Not drama. We broke up. Your business is none of my business.]

Then I blocked him.

Hours later, Liam stumbled home drunk and collapsed on the sofa.

There was a lipstick mark on his neck. The person supporting him was Bella.

Bella was a bit tipsy too. She kept apologizing, "Natalie, I'm sorry, I couldn't stop Liam from drinking. Don't blame him."

Mmh. I'm not angry.

He's an ex-boyfriend. Nothing to be angry about.

I sat Bella down in a chair and poured her a glass of honey water, treating him like a guest.

"It's fine. Doesn't matter."

She really looked so innocent. Even if she harbored bad intentions, those misty eyes made it hard to stay mad.

No wonder Liam liked her.