Chapter 2Where Goodbyes Bloom

Forcing a smile, I looked at Lionel and asked if he wanted to go outside with Mama and release some wish lanterns. If I couldn't secure a lifetime with Arthur, then I would at least pray for Lionel to live a long, safe life, free from harm.

He laughed and agreed, saying he also wanted a large candied apple on a stick from outside. He said it was the first gift Papa had ever given him, and it was so delicious. I tightened the smile on my lips, stroking Lionel’s head. It was just a trifle Arthur had casually tossed to Lionel, yet my son had cherished it as a precious treasure, remembering it to this day. Sometimes I couldn't comprehend it: how could Arthur be so distant, so seemingly indifferent to Lionel?

Lost in thought, my hand was suddenly tugged by Lionel. He shouted "Papa!" loudly, but his voice was swallowed by the bustling crowd's joyous clamor. Following Lionel’s gaze, I looked up. With just one glance, I was rooted to the spot, unable to move a single step.

On the Midwinter Festival of Lights, by the banks of the River Eldrin, Arthur held a stunning beauty in his arms, kneeling to release a wish lantern. For a moment, I felt a dizzying disorientation. So, Arthur wasn't ignorant of Eldoria's customs; he had always been intimately familiar with them. It was simply that the person he wished to spend a lifetime with was not me.

Lionel was still pointing and calling out for his Papa. I reached out and covered his eyes, muttering repeatedly, He's mistaken, he's mistaken, that's not Papa. But my heart felt as if it were being torn apart. My thickest fur-lined cloak couldn't ward off the biting cold; in that instant, I felt chilled to the bone. The past three years of harmonious companionship replayed in my mind, my brain stalled. I even began to question if all that affection had merely been a performance by Arthur.

Tears fell endlessly, melting the snow on the ground, and carving deep, gaping holes in my heart. That Midwinter Festival, I couldn't make my wish, nor could I pray for Lionel to live a long, safe life. As he sat in the carriage, licking his candied apple, he asked if that had truly been Papa. I merely gave a bitter smile, my face growing rigid, my voice edged with a sob I didn't even notice.

"No... not Papa. Your Papa is burdened by affairs of state... he has no time to come out."

Burdened by affairs of state? Even I didn't believe those words, a hint of guilt in my voice, yet I instinctively found excuses for him.

Back in my royal chambers, the food on the table was long cold. All of it was Arthur's favorite dishes, but he hadn't come. His favorite dishes, naturally, remained untouched. I looked at the congealed grease on the food and felt a wave of nausea.

From ancient times, kings were often described as passionate, dashing, with a court filled with beauties. Yet, Arthur had once held my hand and sworn that he would devote himself to me alone, never to stray. Alas, the dreams of youth, once vibrant, now felt like faded tapestries.