Chapter 1How to Prank Your Billionaire Husband

Good news: I’m pregnant. Bad news: I’m in the middle of a cold war with my husband.

How do I tell Caleb Vance the news without losing my dignity? I turned to Reddit for advice, deciding to trust a user who claimed to have read romance novels for a decade.

Step 1: The classic "Runaway Wife" trope. Step 2: Fake morning sickness at dinner. Step 3: Book an abortion appointment using his phone number...

It was all going perfectly until Caleb lost his mind.

That's when I realized:

Wait... I think I took the joke too far.

* * *

So, here's the situation. I'm pregnant, and Caleb and I aren't speaking.

I posted a picture of the positive test on r/relationship_advice with the title: How do I tell my husband I'm pregnant while we're fighting? Wrong answers only.

The internet did not disappoint. Within an hour, I had thousands of comments.

u/SavageQueen: Send him a pic of the test and say, "Baby's gone. Froze to death because of your cold shoulder."

u/AnimeLover99: Look him in the eye and whisper: "I am not fighting alone."

u/RomanceAddict: Five years later, return with quintuplets and dominate the social scene.

I scrolled through the chaos, feeling grateful for the internet's unhinged energy. But one comment stood out.

u/NovelExpert: Run away. Trust me, I've read romance novels for ten years. This is the only way.

u/DramaLlama: Book an abortion at his family's hospital but put his number as the contact. Then sneak off to Seattle and work as a barista for half a day.

u/SubtleChaos: At dinner, dry heave dramatically and then sprint to the bathroom. Works every time.

These "experts" seemed trustworthy.

I looked at my phone. Still no text from Caleb. Thinking of his cold, handsome face made me angry all over again. I blocked his number.

Enjoy the silence, you giant idiot. I have a surprise for you.