Chapter 4The 99th Faded Love Letter

The earrings inside were promotional freebies from a niche boutique brand.

On my cab ride back this morning, I had scrolled past a massive photo dump on Nancy's Instagram.

In the center photo, she was wearing a thick scarf from this exact same brand, flashing a peace sign at the camera.

It was a live photo. The background audio was piercingly clear.

"Thank you for the gift, Declan! I promise I'll keep working hard!"

Followed immediately by Declan's low, soft chuckle.

The tiny box in my hand suddenly felt like burning lead. It ground whatever miserable scraps of self esteem I had left into fine dust.

I thought about it with deep, pathetic irony.

Why did I have to click on her post?

If I hadn't seen that picture, I never would have known the gift he was using to pacify me was literally a piece of trash another girl didn't want.

Wouldn't it be so nice to just be an ignorant idiot, happily accepting my little prize?

This was just sad.

I felt like an absolute joke.

The corner of my mouth twitched. "Never again," I whispered. "I'm never doing this again."

I would never shamelessly throw myself at him again.

And I sure as hell wasn't following him across the world.

"Hmm?" Declan didn't catch my whisper. He narrowed his eyes and leaned in closer.

A bright, sweet voice shattered the moment.

"Um... am I interrupting something?"

Nancy was standing there, wrapped up warm in that exact scarf, looking at me with wide, timid eyes.

"Declan, I think I left a few things in your suitcase."

Declan nodded casually and unzipped his luggage.

She reached right into the inner mesh pocket and pulled out a makeup bag and a box of tampons.

I felt like I was nailed to the concrete. I just watched how incredibly natural their routine was.

The howling wind sounded like it was laughing at me. It was mocking my entire existence.

"Oh, um... Serena, please don't get the wrong idea. My period started right before the finals, so I had to beg Declan to run to the pharmacy for me. Plus, my suitcase was completely over the weight limit..."

Nancy nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, making sure she sounded suitably pitiful.

I stared right into her bright, defiant eyes. It was crazy how much things changed.

Who would have thought the painfully shy, sunburnt scholarship kid from freshman year would blossom into this confident, manipulative girl?

Back then, I genuinely considered Nancy a friend.

I was terrified she felt left out, so I constantly dragged her to meals and study sessions. I gave her my clothes, my expensive skincare, everything.

I never imagined she would set her sights on Declan, or that she would completely backstab me to steal my competition slot.

It felt like I swallowed a handful of crushed glass. I couldn't cough it up, and I couldn't force it down.

I heard my own voice echoing, hoarse and mocking.

"Did the hotel you stayed at not have a front desk? Were there absolutely zero other women in the entire competition circuit?"

"You just had to force a guy with a girlfriend to go buy your feminine products? Wow, you and your precious Declan must have a really special bond."

"Serena!" Declan practically roared.

"Since when did you become so classless? I just did a favor for a classmate in need. Do you really have to twist it into something so filthy?"

"Apologize to Nancy right now!"

Nancy's eyes were already swimming in dramatic tears.

"Serena, I know you are still furious that I took your spot."

"But you literally have everything. You don't need one little competition. Please, can you just forgive me?"

Declan gripped her trembling shoulders, his voice instantly softening. "It is not your fault."

Then, he turned his glare back to me, his tone hardening.

"Serena. Apologize."

"Why the hell should I?"

I raised my voice, my vision blurring with hot, angry tears.

Declan didn't even bother looking at me anymore. He gently guided Nancy to the curb and hailed a cab for her.

I didn't blink. I just watched him display a level of patience he had never, ever shown me. He leaned into the window, softly comforting the sobbing girl.

The amber glow of the streetlights caught a warm, genuine smile on his face.

I inhaled a lungful of freezing air. The cold sank straight into my bones.

It reminded me of the time I had to get emergency appendicitis surgery. My dad was tied up overseas on business and couldn't make it back in time.

I was lying in the hospital, so incredibly lonely. I just wanted to see Declan for five minutes.

If he had just held my hand and said a few nice words, the pain wouldn't have been so bad.

But as my boyfriend, his only response was a freezing text. 'I am busy with finals.'

He couldn't even be bothered to fake a shred of concern.

Seeing him tonight made everything crystal clear.

Declan was not a heartless studying machine. He was perfectly capable of loving someone.

Being loved gives a person life. But so does the act of loving someone else.

The problem was simply that the person bringing Declan to life was not me.

It was never me.