Chapter 1Reborn, I Refuse to Take Her Place

Before my roommate went to meet her online crush, I warned her. I told her Eric was way out of her league, a guy who stood on a pedestal. I told her he would never fall for a big girl.

Tears welled in her eyes. Defeated, she let me go in her place.

It worked out perfectly for me. I dated Eric, married him, and became the envy of everyone we knew.

But after the wedding, he grew cold. Distant.

Guilt ate at me. I was a fraud, so I constantly needed proof that he actually loved me. I became suffocating. Tracking his phone, bombarding him with calls, threatening to jump off the roof if he came home ten minutes late. That was my normal.

Seven years of that. He finally burned out. Even when I dragged a blade across my wrist, he barely blinked. He just calmly told his assistant to dial 911.

When I looked at him with bloodshot eyes and whispered that I might actually die this time, he looked exhausted.

"Do it," he replied. "If you die, I can finally marry someone normal."

He didn't know I actually meant it. I closed my eyes as the biting hum of an experimental psychiatric treatment took over my senses. I really did die.

But when I opened my eyes again, I was sitting on my dorm bed. It was the exact day my roommate was supposed to meet him.

I looked down at the expensive white dress she had bought for the occasion. I pulled it off and handed it back to her.

"I'm not going."

* * *

The rain was coming down in sheets.

I remembered this weather from my past life. The wind had been howling. By the time I had rushed to the cafe, I was an hour late, and the white dress Diana had bought me was plastered to my skin.

Eric hadn't asked any questions. He just walked over and draped his warm jacket over my shivering shoulders.

It wasn't until the dessert arrived that I remembered to introduce myself. "I'm Josie." That was the screen name Diana used.

He had paused, then nodded. "I'm Eric."

I walked home that night wearing his jacket. Diana had noticed it immediately. She stared at the floor for a long time before asking in a small voice if he had been disappointed.

"Not at all," I had told her. "He really likes me."

I knew I was breaking her heart, but I was too thrilled to care. She had trusted me with her secret online romance. She had no idea I was obsessed with Eric, too.

Besides, Diana had everything. A wealthy family, parents who adored her, an easy life. I had nothing. Why couldn't she let me have this one thing?

I used to envy her. I was jealous of her. But once I had Eric, all of that vanished. I thought we could finally be real friends.

"You're not going? But why?"

Diana's voice pulled me back to the present. Her eyes were red. "Sadie, are you mad at me? I'll apologize, I swear. But the meetup is in an hour. I can't go looking like this."

"Diana." It was the first time I used her real name. I usually called her some teasing nickname about her weight. "Do you trust me?"

"I do."

"Then go meet him yourself. He'll like you. And even if there's no spark, you guys will make great friends."

She sniffled, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "He won't. He won't like a girl who weighs a hundred and sixty pounds. You literally told me that last night."

I swallowed a heavy sigh. "He's not that shallow. I know him."

"You know him? Since when do you know him?"

Did I? We dated for three years and were married for seven. A whole decade. He never truly understood me, and looking back, I didn't understand him either.

The last thing he ever said to me was that he wished I were dead.

I spent my whole life trying to prove his love, but in the end, the only thing I proved was his hatred for me. A deep, bone-chilling hatred.

"Everyone knows him," I lied smoothly. "Besides, you didn't talk to him for months just to score a boyfriend, right?"

Her cheeks flushed. "Well, it would be nice. It's Eric we're talking about."

Eventually, I talked her into it. She threw on her favorite oversized hoodie and sweatpants and headed out into the storm.

I sat by the window, watching the rain. Would Eric like Diana? Probably.

In my past life, I once overheard his friends asking about his ideal type. Lively, upbeat, emotionally stable, and above all, kind.

"What about looks?" his friend had asked.

"Looks don't matter to me."

I had kicked the door open and demanded to know what he meant by that. He just looked at me with that dead, calm expression. "It means exactly what you think it means. I don't love you. I could never love a lunatic like you."

I spent the rest of the afternoon in a daze. The sky turned bruised and dark before the dorm door clicked open.

Diana walked in. She was wearing Eric's jacket. She sat down on the edge of my bed, staring blankly at the wall.

"Sadie, I think he was really disappointed."