Chapter 3The Secret Mistress Behind My Eight-Year Relationship

"Yeah," I said evenly. "I know everything."

Noah rubbed the bridge of his nose and finally looked at me.

There was no panic in his eyes. There was no guilt, either.

There was only a chilling, settled calmness.

"Anna, I'm done lying to you."

"Stella and I have been together for almost three years."

"She's the woman I am going to marry."

The words hit my chest like a crowbar.

"And what about me?" I asked.

Noah's gaze flickered.

"You?" He let out a dry, humorless laugh. "Anna, it's not that I don't care about you. But you are just too heavy."

"Every single day we've been together, I've had to manage your emotions, your depression, your paralyzing fears."

"Do you have any idea how exhausting that is?"

"I never asked you to carry me," I said, my voice steady but tight. "I've been going to therapy. I've been taking my medication. I've been getting better."

Noah shook his head slowly.

"You think you're getting better. But I'm not."

"Every day, I come back to this miserable four-hundred-square-foot box. I have to look at your nervous, walking-on-eggshells face. I have to look at the cheap curtains and the water stains on the ceiling."

"I feel like I'm suffocating."

His phone buzzed on the coffee table.

He glanced at it. He didn't pick it up, but the corners of his mouth twitched into a faint, involuntary smile.

"Then why didn't you just break up with me?" I asked. "Why sneak around for three years? You could have just ended it."

Noah took a deep breath, finally saying the quiet part out loud.

"Because I was terrified you'd kill yourself."

He stared at me, his eyes dead and cold.

"Your mother felt like she couldn't handle life anymore, so she threw herself off a balcony."

"You are exactly like her. The second things get tough, your mind goes straight to the edge."

"That night in high school, when you called me bleeding... my hands shook for hours."

"I am not going through that again."

"So I stayed. I kept you company. I coddled you. I gave you a few hundred bucks a month to make sure you could survive."

"But Anna, that wasn't love."

"That was..."

He paused, searching for the word.

"Pity."

I sat perfectly still. It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my head.

I was fourteen the day my mother jumped.

A crowd had gathered around the concrete courtyard.

I ran down the stairs so fast I lost one of my shoes.

She was lying on the pavement. Blood was pooling out from her dark hair. Her eyes were half-open, staring at nothing.

I had to change schools three times after that.

In every hallway, the whispers followed me. Her mom's a psycho. Her mom took the quick way down. She's going to end up just like her.

Noah was the only one who stood between me and the bullies.

He had gripped my hand tightly and promised, "Anna, you are not your mother. You are going to be okay."

He was the one who dragged me out of the absolute dark.

And now, he was sitting on my cheap sofa, ripping open my deepest, most agonizing scars, using them as justification for his betrayal.

My throat constricted. My voice shook violently.

"Noah... you swore to me. You promised you would never use my mother against me."

He shrugged casually.

"I'm not using it against you. I'm just stating facts."

"It's different with Stella. When I'm with her, life is easy. It's fun. I don't have to watch her every second to make sure she doesn't mentally shatter into a million pieces."

"Your anxiety, your trauma, your constant fear... it's just too much weight."

"I can't carry it anymore."

The doorbell rang.

Noah stood up and walked to the door.

Stella was standing in the hallway, wearing a bright yellow designer sundress. She immediately looped her arm through his.

She shot me a look, her voice dripping with condescending concern.

"Noah, are you okay? I was worried you wouldn't be able to handle her alone."

I stood up and locked eyes with her.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to touch either of you."

Noah squeezed Stella's hand and looked back at me.

"Anna, I never wanted to hurt you. Let's just end this peacefully, okay?"

I gripped the edge of the dining table to keep myself standing.

My legs felt like water.

"Okay."

They walked out together.

The moment the door clicked shut, my legs gave out. I collapsed onto the floor.

My entire body shook uncontrollably.

But I didn't cry.

I couldn't force out a single tear.