Chapter 4The 50/50 Divorce

[Biometric reports generated. Upon mutual confirmation, the 50/50 Split Protocol will commence.]

A flicker of doubt crossed Liam's face, but he couldn't resist the urge to brag.

"Mia, your report is probably a massive list of red flags, isn't it?"

"Mine, on the other hand, is a clean bill of health."

I simply handed my medical report directly to him.

"You're absolutely right. Take a look."

He snatched it eagerly, reading it aloud as if he were reading a list of criminal charges:

"Weight: 145 lbs. Chronic sleep deprivation, anterior pelvic tilt, chronic neck and shoulder pain, chronic lumbar pain, severe hair loss, chronic rhinitis, urinary incontinence..."

"No wonder you always smell so weird. It's because you're constantly leaking urine."

Liam recoiled in absolute disgust, his face a mask of revulsion.

[Both parties have confirmed the reports. We will now execute a 50/50 split of the aforementioned physical damage and overall physiological states.]

Immediately, a warm, gentle white light enveloped me.

My heavy, sluggish body suddenly felt incredibly light and energetic. My thinning hair began to rapidly thicken and grow. My oily, dull skin became clear and radiant.

The constant fog in my brain vanished, replaced by sharp clarity. Even my cheap, worn-out clothes transformed into high-quality, elegant garments.

On the other side of the stage, Liam's agonizing screams echoed through the hall.

His perfectly toned physique rapidly bloated and sagged. Half of his thick hair fell out in clumps. His clear skin became greasy and covered in dark spots.

When the white light faded, even though it was only a 50/50 split, I felt entirely reborn.

I was thrilled by my transformation, completely missing the vicious, homicidal glare Liam was shooting me.

But his aggression didn't last long.

[System detects the female party experienced a full month of agonizing surgical incision recovery. Would you like to execute a 50/50 split so the male party can personally experience this pain?]

Liam hesitated, genuine fear in his eyes.

But the audience immediately began egging him on.

"What are you afraid of? My mom always said every woman gives birth. If a woman can do it, a man can definitely handle the pain."

"Women just love to exaggerate. Men don't put on those kind of pathetic, dramatic acts."

"My mom was literally working in the fields while she was pregnant! If she could do it, I could do it too!"

I seized the opportunity to add fuel to the fire.

"Yeah, Liam! Doesn't your mother always brag about how she was working the fields right up until she gave birth? Surely such a simple, trivial thing wouldn't be too hard for a big, strong man like you?"

"I can submit the request for you to experience it right now, if you want."

My daughter perfectly followed my lead.

"So Daddy is actually just a coward! He won't even try something Mommy was brave enough to do! I think I should just change my last name to match Mommy's."

That struck Liam's most sensitive, fragile nerve. Sporting his new, dark under-eye circles, he glared at me intensely.

"Don't worry. Daddy is the bravest man in the world. I will never let you change your last name to an outsider's!"

I feigned disappointment.

"What a shame. I almost succeeded."

Believing he had cleverly caught me in a trap, his steps instantly became lighter.

"My daughter will only ever carry my last name!"